Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
