Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
