it hurts more in the daytime
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
