Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I will pee on everything he values.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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