So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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