We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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