Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
