I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize