what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
