apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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