U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
