What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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