I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
