idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize