the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
