go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
