$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
