I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize