So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
