So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
