What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize