wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
