Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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