I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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