You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
