All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
