"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We have started to decorate penises.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
