i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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