You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
