Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
