I wannas sexs uuuuu
only you would photoshop your dick
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
50% drunk capacity currently
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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