Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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