Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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