there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
