he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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