hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize