He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
