I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
please come you make the beer taste better
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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