1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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