Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i think i have two assholes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
