i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You took a bar mat shot.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
