yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
