Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
