he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
