If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
