i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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