I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
