we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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