Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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