This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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