margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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