There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
