I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
