I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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