Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
