Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so let's talk penis.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize