Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
