I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
only if we run a train.
done.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
