Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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