I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
