yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
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