i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
