She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
