dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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