is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
