Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
