Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think your dad took our porno
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
