Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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