Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!

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(516): View more from New York

Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.

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(208): View more from Idaho

can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?

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(518): View more from New York

his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

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(216): View more from Ohio

We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

(347): View more from New York

Something to remember me by.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way

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