Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
